Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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