Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
