question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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