I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
