After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
