their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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