Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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