Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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