Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
