i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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