Where are you?
In a non slutty way
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
