you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
