i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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