Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
