My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
