We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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