She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
