A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize