I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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