my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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