Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
