I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
