I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize