He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
