You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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