sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
