Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize