going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
