Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
