I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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