my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
