why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We named our party play list daddy issues
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
