I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
