Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
