2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
