Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize