im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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