This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
