you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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