I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
