The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
We're facebook friends in real life
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
