I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
...so i touched it.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
3pm strippers are depressing
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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