saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
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