I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
