My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
