this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
it glows. i had to have it.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize