My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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