there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
