i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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