I am in a vortex of obligation.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Randomize
