Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
