my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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