): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
my shit smells like andre
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
