My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
