Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
