i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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