Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
