You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
