Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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